More

The Steve Irwin

I am going to learn how to tie some sea worthy knots, because I want to protect whales.

OR FOR.

If not for my ever dwindling groups of Lincoln friends.
Or for a higher per capita of heavy drinkers and smokers.
Or for real beards and non-chain but pretentious coffee shops.
Or for my favorite little place to sit downtown.

I will still come back. To Lincoln. Or anywhere I have frequented in NE. As often as possible.

For this reason.

(curtains part, man [me] sits in front of Starbucks in the dim glow provided by the lights in front of the shop, reading a thick book and smoking a hand rolled cigarette, wearing a black formal military jacket over a faded clever t-shirt, embarrassingly pre-faded jeans, and overly broken-in army boots. A light sprinkle covers the sidewalk intermittently, a few clouds cover half of Orion, the temperature hovers around 50 degrees.)

(stupid old man enters stage left, wearing a stupid t-shirt and stupid shorts)

S.O.M.: "Aren't you cold out here?"
Me: "Fuck, no."

(End scene)

If I either, a. start wearing shorts or b. grow a weather vagina, please have some sort of intervention for me.

My greatest fear is that creative humor has to go down the toilet as you get older.

Today
for the first time in four years I changed my voicemail message.

It was time.... and my boss told me to because mine was unprofessional.

What do you believe in?

Anti-aging makeup or Anti-aging skin cream?

Today is a new day.

So i finally cleaned out my car today. Its been months that the mound in my back seat has been growing. For so long I drove around in shame when I had to tell people, "sorry, I can't give more than one passenger a ride." Thanks to the recycling service that my parents now subscribe to, I can finally get rid of all the recyclable waste I have been waiting to recycle. So anyway, I thought I would blog about an idea I had a while ago but never got around to posting.

I was driving to UNK a few weeks ago and in a surprisingly good mood. I was listening to my favorite "classic pop" stations and felt like I was on top of the world. This Bryan Adams song came on the radio. Maybe you remember it, "Have you ever really loved a woman?". It was written for the movie Don Juan DeMarco starring Johnny Depp and Marlon Brando about a psycho who thinks he's... you guessed it, Don Juan DeMarco.

Anyway, the point is, every time I hear this five-minute ballad I think about how ridiculous it is that the word "really" takes up (what seems like) 18 percent of the song's lyrics.

This is where the blog comes in.
I got to thinking that this song could become one component of a drinking game. Every time you hear the word "really", take a drink. This would of course be difficult because some lines of the song are "have you ever really, really really ever loved a woman... to really love a woman.. really... really... really..."

So I kept digging into this idea that the game is tied to the blog. So like, people would all get online, one person would post their contribution to the game. For example, I would start the game off by posting the Bryan Adams song, the premise of the round, and then a link to the song/video. We'd play out that round, people would blog comments and then someone else would post a new round that people can complete from satellite locations.

I don't know. I tried running through my head how this scenario would play out. Is it feasible? Would it be any fun? What would people come up with?...

If an IPA isn't above 6% alcohol, it's not worth drinking.

We should either use this post to vote on ideas to write about or Evil should just pick something. We could make it a playoffs for voting. All submit one idea, all vote once but you can't vote for your own idea? Math is fuzzy right now. Don't know how that would turn out.

I'm going to be in Lincoln in a week.

If you have any telescope lens or an old projector lens just...laying around,

Projecting your ipod



If I had not destroyed all my ipods I would do this. So go on, try it out and let me know how it goes.